#sleepy brisket

[boy-rott]

i love young sheldon and big bang theory

[kaizsche]

TWISTERS FEATURETTE, GLEN POWELL: ALL ACCESS

[transmemesfortransqueens]

[diremoone]

sweet dedication | g. satoru

a year after his fight with sukuna, satoru finally gets to enjoy his birthday in peace, with no one but his beloved wife.

w — fluff, post-canon, lots of food :3, i incorporated a doggo sue me, vv short but hopefully sweet 🥰

Happy Birthday, My Beloved Satoru ❤️❤️

[ line divider credit to @/saradika ]

The last thing Satoru expected to smell coming through the front door of his home was a mixture of cinnamon and cherries. He shrugged off the jacket from his shoulders and curiously stepped further into his home. Upon seeing the kitchen table and every counter, his eyes went wide and mouth fell open.

On the kitchen table was at least four boxes of pizza, chicken wings, fried chicken, and brisket. Towards the end of the table farther fell the front door were sides, like green bean casserole and corn. His mouth began to water, his inner food junkie rearing it’s hungry head.

Across the counters and clearly in the oven were desserts, desserts, and more desserts — apple and cherry pie, cheesecake, fruit kebabs, crepes, mochi, brownies, kikufuku from Sendai. Gosh, what was the occasion?

And then the man sees above the hallway entrance that leads to the other rooms: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Satoru gapes.

Was it really December 7th?

He checks his phone and his brows raise in surprise. How in the world did he forget?

But you didn’t. You would’ve been the only one available to have made such a feast for him (even if it was mostly sweets), since everyone else was out on missions, still trying to tidy up Japan after the Culling Games’ toll.

He feels his heart swell with love and happiness, happy that you’ve remembered a date that he’s thrown to the side for so many years. He’s happy that you’ve done so much here for him, a genuine showcase of how much you really loved him and knew him by cooking all of his favorites. This must’ve taken you hours and hours to do; this being a clear proclamation of how much you’ve dedicated yourself to him and to knowing him.

“Babe?” he calls out to open air. No response. He’s smart by checking the kitchen first; you’d never leave cooking food unattended.

Satoru’s mouth quirks up into a sweet smile at the sight of passed out, sitting on the kitchen floor with your inseparable corgi Maple snoozing away right next to you. Although he squints at the sight of your neck lolled to the side in the corner of the cabinets. That didn’t look comfortable at all.

He’s not sure if he should take you to bed or wake you up right now. After a moment, he decides the former. But as soon as you’re scooped up and secured against his broad chest, your eyes flutter open. Maple wakes up too, barking and wiggling her butt, happy to see her dad.

“Oh, my god. Satoru!”

He winks. “The one and only baby.”

Your brain has always been fast about remembering all of the events prior to any sort of sleep or nap you’ve had. This time was no different, and he chuckles when you begin to groan and complain about your surprise being ruined.

“God, I can’t believe I fell asleep! How does one even sleep on the kitchen floor. My ass hurts, Jesus,” you complain. You burrow your head into the crook of his neck in embarrassment as he carries you to the couch and sits down with you on his lap. Maple bounds up behind him and miraculously uses her little legs to hop up on the couch. Satoru chuckles and takes a moment to briefly give her belly rubs.

“Thank you for trying to make this day special for me,” your ‘Toru says. It’s sweet, the tone of his voice, filled with love and adoration. “Don’t feel bad. That looks like a lot of cooking you did, so it’s only natural you’d fall asleep at some point. So don’t beat yourself up over it, okay?”

You grumble but nod anyway. It was true. You’d been awake ever since he’d left earlier this morning, putting the pedal to the floor on your attempt to swamp the love of your life with all of his favorite foods made by hand.

“I love you, Satoru,” you mumble, still tired and sleepy from overextending yourself.

“I love you, too, baby.” His lips press a long kiss to the side of your temple. He pulls away to gaze down into your eyes, chuckles escaping him again at seeing the sleepy haze in them. “Thank you for trying to make my special day special.”

“But I still didn’t get to surprise you,” you complain.

“I wasn’t expecting it when I came home, especially now with everything going on. I think that’s a big enough surprise for me,” he argues. “So come on, cheer up! We have some delicious delicious food to eat made by my sweet, adorable, wonderful wifey-poo! Except the pizza of course!”

You deadpan. “Call me that again and I’ll smash the strawberry shortcake I made as your birthday cake in that expensive jacket you bought last week.”

Satoru gasps dramatically in horror.

“You wouldn’t!”

“Try me.”

“Not if I eat it first!”

taglist:

@vagabond-umlaut @heresan @4sat0ruu and @/all my satoru lovers also i shouldn’t have taken that nap otherwise this taglist would be longer lmaoo

let’s raise a glass to this man who deserves the entire fucking world

[thelampisaflashlight]

Everything Goes On Pt. 8

[Who were you before him? Time skip again. Not suitable for younger audiences. Previous Part here.] Below the cut.

"This is Brisket." Dew says, holding up quite possibly the least intimidating dog to grace the face of the Earth, "He's a Chiweenie."

"A... A Chiweenie?" Mountain stares at the little creature, currently giving him the most wet eyed look in return, "This is your new Hellhound?"

"Hey, he may not look like much, but he's fierce!"

Brisket yawns and gets his tongue stuck outside of his mouth.

"I took you for more of a big breed dog kind of guy." Mountain says, watching the puppy drop his head into the palm of Dew's hand.

"Nah, I mean, I love all kinds of dogs, but living in a dorm with a St. Bernard sounds like a nightmare. It's also easier to travel."

"Is Brisket going on the road with us for tour then?" Mountain asks, "He could probably fit in your carry on..."

"Maybe next tour, for now, I mean, look at this guy." He rocks his arm slightly and the puppy's ears flop side to side, "He wouldn't make it through the opening act."

Mountain laughs, "So, what prompted this?"

He gestures at Brisket, and then at Dew's new, shorter haircut.

"Companionship." Dew says, holding up Brisket, "And not having anyone around to stop me."

"Hm, well, it suits you." Mountain says, picking up Brisket's head in his hands to squish his tiny face around a little.

"The puppy or the hair?"

"I mean, Brisket... I can't believe you named him that... is quite handsome in his own right, but I meant your hair." Mountain clarifies, "Not that your old style didn't, too, this one's just, I dunno, refreshing? Is that a word people use to describe hair?"

Dew snorts.

"Why Brisket though?"

"He smells like beef." the ghoul motions for Mountain to sniff the dog.

"Like in a good way or a bad-" Mountain sniffs Brisket again, "-Why does he smell like he rolled around in a barbecue??"

"Legend has it he was born in the behind some kind of bar and grille that served some pretty good steak..."

It has been three months since Aether left.

Three.

A whole quarter of a year, and Dew's starting to feel a little more grounded.

It helps when he has two new ghouls to coach through the motions of being "human" -Actually, Brisket was his own sort of reward to himself for not completely messing that up.- between teaching Aeon how to use a fork and getting Aurora to wear underwear, Dew hasn't had time to think of much else.

He still has his moments where he wakes up in his new room and gets confused, where he reaches over to the right side of the bed only to be met with the cold bedspread, but once he discovered he could spread out across the mattress unimpeded by another body, he'd more or less stopped.

It's the little things, he supposes, taking solace in the creature comforts he had forgotten after having to share his space and find compromises to make his other half happy...

Sure, it sucks not being able to roll over in the morning and get sleepy cuddles, but now he can fit a little bed on the other half for Brisket to sleep in, and that more than makes up for that.

Aether liked dogs, too, but he'd never let one sleep in their bed, claiming it would "spoil" them.

Well, too bad, Aether, Brisket is going to be as spoiled as a prince of Hell.

That being said, though, Dew does miss having another ghoul in his bed, and while there had been offers...

"It just doesn't feel right." he tells Cumulus one afternoon, "Feels like I'm cheating even though... ya know."

"You and Aether were together for four years," she says, "it's okay to need time."

"I know, but I'm not... I'm not sure when it's okay to... start all of that again."

"Having sex?"

"Kind of, but, I mean more like..." he lowers his voice, "...dating."

"Ohhh..." Cumulus pats his arm, "I'd say don't rush into all of that. You know what they say about rebound relationships..."

"Actually I... I don't." Dew whispers, "Aether was the only person I've ever dated."

"How'd you two wind up together anyway?" Cumulus asks, "Not to be rude, I mean, you two are, like, polar opposites."

"Not completely." Dew starts counting on his fingers, "We had a couple key things in common; We liked dogs, beer, music, obviously, and..."

The tips of Dew's ears go red.

"And?"

"There's this thing he could do with his tongue that he taught me how to do-"

.

.

.

Cirrus is... frustrated.

Cumulus has been avoiding her.

Not really, it's just...

"Cir, I love you, but you're being a little... suffocating lately." the smaller ghoulette had confessed, "I won't go anywhere just because we're not cuddling every second of the day, you know?"

Cirrus presses her face into her pillow and screams.

She can't help it.

Lately, it feels like if she isn't physically connected to Cumulus, it feels like they're drifting apart.

It's Dew's fault honestly.

Ever since Aether left him, he's been leaning on Cumulus for emotional support, even though he's not the only person hurt by...

By...

Cirrus rolls over in her bed, squeezing her pillow to her chest.

The night before Aether broke up with Dew...

"...Fuck, Cir..."

"Mn... Aeth... You feel so good..."

They aren't exclusive.

None of them are exclusive.

But something about it had felt...

Forbidden.

Good.

And now that she has time to reflect on it, it felt a lot like a goodbye, too.

"Does Dew know you're here?"

"He does, he doesn't care."

"Typical Dew."

"Yeah."

Dew knew, so there was... there was no guilt there.

Cumulus had known, too, but...

"Why are you apologizing? We all mess around."

...Why had she wanted her to be angry?

"...What's wrong with me?"

.

.

.

Swiss will admit, sometimes he makes poor decisions in the heat of the moment that result in... unfortunate circumstances...

"Your dick looks like a fucking glowstick." Dew gapes, beside him, Rain is positively shaking trying to contain his laughter, "Jack it off too hard and accidentally crack it or something?"

"You know the guard you set me up with a while back?" Swiss asks, tucking himself back into his pants, "Yeah, uh, turns out no matter where you stick it, this happens."

"I-It's like you dunked your junk in a vat of highlighter ink..." Rain cackles, "Does it come off?"

"Takes, like, two to three days for the... the glow to fade."

"So if you decided to jack off with the lights off, would your cum also glow? Like is it soaked in that far? Or is it like a weird sunburn?" Dew asks.

"..."

"Swiss?"

"...I need to go test something."

And, honest to Satan's balls, that was what Swiss was intent on doing when in his haste to get back to his dorm, he bumped into a sibling of sin walking through the corridors with-

"Aether?"

[crowcaws]

Inspired by a twitter thread i saw, I, Australian and certified dumb of ass, will now list every main American state and what I associate it with/what I think it's about/famous for WITHOUT GOOGLING. These thoughts will be stated as fact regardless of whether or not they are true.

Alabama - Banjos. Reese Witherspoon lives here. Shares a border with Florida for some reason. Fifteen people live here. I'm glad i'm not allowed to google because i feel like i'd find things i don't want to know.

Alaska - Mountains. Balto. State flower is a tree of some kind. The roads are just the tyre tracks in the snow of the vehicles that came before whispering "trust me". Kodiak is here, where Pitbull famously said 'keep fucking around, we'll be on the moon next.' I think this is where Mulder and Scully got fucked up by a brain worm.

Arizona - Desert but not the Las Vegas kind. The granyon canyon. State flower is a cactus. State bird also a cactus. Bella Swan got fucked up in a dance studio here. It seems very scenic.

Arkansas - The name of this state makes me think of rusty old utes and that's it, that's all I've got. "Pickup trucks" or whatever. Grow up.

California - The great Lucille Bluth once said, "I'd rather be dead in California than alive in Arizona" but personally I think i'm with Michael on this one. California has Hollywood and an ok tourist beach. Green Day are from here. San Francisco seems cool though, I like how it looks like a city designed specifically to kill skateboarders and cyclists. State flower is a grand theft auto PS2 disc. Population: more than Australia.

Colorado - Mountains. Elks and Deer and Eagles and Giraffes on ski slopes. Much domestic tourism, have never once heard of anyone from outside the US specifically visiting Colorado though idk. Verdict: America's New Zealand.

Connecticut - The dry weetbix of states. I think of monopoly but I can't remember why. State flower is a dandelion that has been stepped on. Biggest export is men's office attire, specifically brown two piece suits and those short sleeve button ups. I only found out today that there's a C in the middle of Connecticut I always thought it was 'Conneticut'.

Delaware - Delawhere the fuck is this state I have no idea. Probably still cooler than Connecticut. Famous for combination fast food chains and buildings that clearly used to be a pizza hut (you can tell by the roof). Idrk what Cracker Barrel is but I can tell you the employees spawn here.

Florida - Biscayne bay. Manatees. Shaped like a sock, or something else. Famous for hotels, motels, and holiday inns. Would be a fun state if not for the fact that every politician in charge of it is fucking it up so so bad. One of the few places in the USA where you can see the Southern Cross constellation. Miami Dale forever RIP Logan Horseman.

Georgia - peaches. atlantis. brisket. no other thoughts detected, moving on

Hawaii - Famous for killing James cunt Cook which is honestly a deserved and certified W for Hawaiians. Plagued (and I do mean plagued) by tourists, including Australian Prime Ministers ignoring national emergencies.

Idaho - Sleepy. Things don't happen here but when they do they happen so much because nothing happens here. National flower is probably like a daisy or something so so normal.

Illinois - Chicago bean. It's dark and we're wearing sunglasses. WatchDogs the game. Famous for girlbosses who kill their husbands. Population 11 millions.

Indiana - Rainy probably. Honestly I only remember this state exists because of Stranger Things, which I understand this is like someone saying they only remember Australia exists because of Crocodile Dundee but look. Population: At least 10.

Iowa - This is such a place to be from if you're moving to the big city because all the other waitresses at the diner back home said you got a voice worth payin for and you finally stopped letting your papa tell you what to do. Famous for crop duster planes. State flower is long grass.

Kansas - Famous for scarecrows, wheat and the like. Probably fun at Halloween actually. Great place to fake an alien sighting. I just remembered Dorothy is from here. Population: Yes.

Kentucky - Fried chicken. NASCAR. Speedway. Derby. State flower is a blown out tyre on the side of the road.

Louisiana - Very wet but in a pretty way. Birthplace of the Saxophone. New Orleans is officially the strongest reason I would ever be tempted to set foot in this country. New York wishes she was this beautiful. Famous for the Vampire Diaries spinoff The Originals.

Maine - Next to Kentucky. Lobsters are from here which means there's water, but don't ask me where. Famous for The Vampire Diaries. State flower is a rose, beautiful but generic, like a YA protagonist.

Maryland - Rural but in a manageable way. I think of letterboxes with the family last name on it. Grandmas love it here. Hairspray the musical.

Massachusetts - Ohhhh Legally Blonde. Boston. Harvarb Law. The colour brown. When pronounced it's a very nice name for a state actually.

Michigan - I reference 'can't have shit in Detroit' almost daily but I know almost nothing else about Michigan.

Minnesota - Mini Soda. Also a good state name. No idea what's here, deer or elk or beavers. There's no way to know for sure.

Mississippi - I like this state name less but only because it's hell on the lisp i battle to mask. It's named after a river. It's on the coast. Next to Pennsylvania.

Missouri - A lot of M states happening here. This place is famous for nothing. I don't know what the capital city is but it's definitely a place you move to for your job instead of like. On purpose. Population: 3 million. It's in the middle somewhere.

Montana - This state's main export is horse girls, very Saddle Club coded. It's on the Canadian border, but it shouldn't be like that. It should be in the middle. Hannah Montana's dad was all Nashville but he's basically from Toronto. Fucked up if you ask me.

Nebraska - When I think of Nebraska I think of those depressing Walmart carparks where there's nothing for miles except for the Walmart and one lady pushing a flatscreen in a trolley to the dodge ram she parked 600m away from the entrance so it won't get dinged by other car doors, because god forbid her utility vehicle show signs of wear.

Nevada - viva rock vegas (the flintstones). There's a salt lake here but NOT a salt lake city. That's somewhere else. I think there's motorsport here. NO WAIT THERE IS because i saw charles leclerc on the sphere on tv and he was so wide and i laughed so hard i choked on my own spit.

New Hampshire - What the fuck is New Hampshire that's not real. I thought it was like some beach suburb in New York state. What the fuck. Regardless. I bet you could pull up to the side of the road in New Hapshite and buy an avocado no questions asked. Probably like the USA's Byron Bay.

New Jersey - Everyone from here says it's bad. It makes me think of t shirts with a longer sleeve t shirt underneath and 2000s pop punk music. Gerard Way.

New Mexico - High School Musical is set in Albuquerque. High School Musical is also the only reason I can pronounce Albuquerque. This state is famous for High School Musical.

New York - She's talking over the rest of you and for what? Wall Street? Ugh. Kinda like the Melbourne of the USA.

North Carolina - I feel like cowbutch lesbians do numbers here for some reason. You could disappear into the hills with a woman in a tank top and assless chaps here if you were brave enough. Men do live here but they're treated like a new cast member on the fifth season of a sitcom, this one's for the girls.

North Dakota - Dakota is Carolina's femme girlfriend and they're in love.

Ohio - This is like that town in Cars that lightning mcqueen gets stuck in and the tourist cars are like oh we're only here because of a wrong turn. Yeah. You might find fireflies here though. Also Ohio is for Lovers or something.

Oklahoma - Swear word for Christians. Absolutely nothing happens here and if it does i feel like it involves chasing livestock.

Oregon - Prairies. This is where the Prairies are. Famous for the people who died while trying to be Not In Oregon.

Pennsylvania - Famous for The Office. And Dracula jokes. That's all i've got.

Rhode Island - Famous for winning Miss United States with the flaming batons routine in Miss Congeniality starring Sandra Bullock. Very small state. Possibly the smallest one but who's to say.

South Carolina - If north is for the lesbians, south is for the gays.

South Dakota - As above.

Tennessee - Country music and whiskey and line dancing, which is actually kinda hot when goth girls do it. Overall, Tennessee is the USA's answer to Gympie, which is a question that nobody asked. Overall i just think of the colour brown. Famous for Hayden Penterre. Penetentiary. Pendulum.

Texas - A South Australian would say Texas is famous for it's adorably small cattle farms. Lucky for me, i am not South Australian. This is the state that other states call redneck and racist to hide the fact that they are also redneck and racist, perhaps more so. Contains two of the main cities to name boys after. Dave Strider lives here. (Sorry for the Homestuck jump scare so late in the game.)

Utah - Salt Lake City. That bass pro shop monolith was here. In general i think of the colour orange. Home of the Hellmouth Sunbeams.

Vermont - Vermont is a state in the same way the spleen is an organ. Population: Zero.

Virginia - Is this not the same thing as Vermont?

Washington - Famous for Bella where the hell you been loca. Twin Peaks is probably set here idk i forgot all parts of the show that were not log lady. White House. Effervescent.

West Virginia - From the lyrics "Mountain mama. Take me home. Country road" we can determine that West Virginia has Mountains, Milfs, Homes, and Roads. I know nothing else about West Virginia.

Wisconsin - Wiscaaaansin. Whis-cahn-sin. There are definitely elks here. That 70's Show is set somewhere beneath the surface of this place. Population: grandparents and elk. I feel like you could get fucked up by a creature here if you're not careful. It's got trees and lakes and shit creatures love those. I think Yellowstone is somewhere around here.

Wyoming - Great lakes? Great lakes. This state is actually all lake. Idk. I like the name though, the verbiage of it all. Wyoming my way downtown. State flower is an empty wrapper blowing by down the street. Population: 800,000. Definitely a place you could go missing and never be seen again.

[velvetcrimsonkisses]

soft brisket, warm brisket, little ball of herbs, happy brisket, sleepy brisket, pat pat pat

thank yew:3 garlic

Such a nice lullaby 😭 thank you garlic

[m1sa-w1sa]

did i just compose the song of the summer??

song composed and directed by myself, george cooper!! 🥰

soft brisket

warm brisket

little ball of herbs

happy brisket

sleepy brisket

pat pat pat

i think he made the song of the summer

(if you want to be apart of my taglist lmk pls)

[fishii28]

soft brisket, warm brisket, little ball of herbs,

happy brisket, sleepy brisket, pat pat pat 🔥

GELP WHAT

[simonisferal]

soft brisket!

Warm brisket!

little ball of herbs…

happy brisket, sleepy brisket!

pat..pat..pat..

k.

[fourse]

is this the song of the summer?

No but this is

[chnt-confessions]

hey guys Chapters 3 and 4 are out. person who mistook Jedidiah for getting shot I referenced u heart emoji lots of love, curiousfish66 did I just write the song of the summer? song written and composted by myself! george cooper. soft brisket warm brisket little ball of herbs happy brisket sleepy brisket pat pat pat

WE LOVE YOU CURIOUSFISH66

[inou-ie]

soct brisket warm brisket little ball of herbs, hapoy brisket sleepy brisket pat pat pat

[chuluoyi]

Sift brisket warm brisket little ball of herb

Happy brisket sleepy brisket

PAT PAT PAT

Thank you thank you

HAHAHAHA I DON’T UNDERSTAND 🥹🥹🥹 i searched it on tiktok and it shows the song but??🥹🥹

[a-narcissists-warren]

i have returned

oft brisket warm brisket little ball of fur happy brisket sleepy brisket pat pat pat

-🦊🌈 (previously 🐈🌈)

woah little guy! you look different today! did you get new sunglasses?

[zoropookie]

did i just make the song of the summer

song directed and composed by myself, george cooper 😮‍💨

soft brisket

warm brisket

little ball of herbs

happy brisket

sleepy brisket

pat pat pat

thank you, thank you

g..eorge cooper isn't that guy dead

holy shit

you may be a lyrical genius dead or not